Booze is Bad
by Blades of Ice
Summary: What happens when you get drunk, surrounded by 3 guys? Nt just DBZ, crossover with other anime. Short and stupid.


      Greetings everyone and konban wa!  I wasn't sure whether I should have this on fanfic.net or ficpress.net, but I think having it here makes more sense seeing as I refer to many anime characters throughout the story.  My warning to all of you who are sane: this is an odd story.  Not an, 'Oh, that was odd' kind of story but as, 'My GOD, what is this girl SMOKING?!' kind of story.  You have been warned.  Oh yeah, I own no Dragonball Z, Inu Yasha, Yu Yu Hakusho or Gundam Wing.  That was my disclaimer…I was just being discreet about it…

            K-chan was not a very sane girl.  However, she was quite capable of rational thinking…most of the time.  There were those instances that made people question the girl's mental state.  Like that time with the bubble wrap, a wombat and…well, we won't get into that.  That was a very messy situation.  There was a constant reminder in her life that informed her of a very bad case of her irrational thinking…two, actually.  And these two reminders were in the form of two little boys.  Yes, two little boys.  K-chan had never gotten drunk before.  Her friends had previously decided it would be healthier for K-chan and themselves if the girl stayed away from: sugar, anything caffeinated, anime, anything sharp, anything flammable, anything purple, bubble wrap, penguins and wombats.  Yes, much healthier and easier on their sanity.  Unfortunately, booze had yet to be added to the list.  The decision to add booze to this list came much too late.  She had gone out for a night on the town with her husband, Trunks, Gohan and Supreme Kai.  Afetr only one beer, K-chan was very much inebriated.  It took a bit longer for the guys to follow suit, but they made it.  Soon, it was well into the morning, and K-chan found herself in bed with her hubbie, very naked and very confused. Trunks was in the same state of dress and confuzzlement as well.  When had they returned home and, for lack of a better phrase, got it on like two bunnies?  At least, that's what they assumed happened, taking note of the clothes and condoms strewn about their room.  Wait, what condoms?  Oh dear God, they didn't…use…a…contraceptive…device!  K-chan already had three lovely children: Trunks Jr., Meela and Vegeta III.  With three quarter saiyans, life was hard enough.  Damn…should've kept that Excel Saga packaging…Where were we?  Ah, yes, bunnies.  K-chan promptly began freaking out while Trunks tried to calm the girl down.  It was to no avail, however.  Once K-chan was in hyper-mode, she could not be stopped for many hours to come.  It was either that, knock her out or give her something anime-related to do while you restrained her.  After much destruction, K-chan was finally calmed.  As calm as an assumed-pregnant woman who didn't want to be pregnant could be, anyway.  Lucky for K-chan, her stress had completely drivenwhat little hangover she had away, so she was free to worry without dashing to the loo or having to down a whole bottle of aspirin.  It was agreed that K-chan and Trunks would take a trip to the doctors.  That was Saturday.  Sunday night, it was confirmed: K-chan was pregnant.  The baby was due in July.  Imagine everyone's shock when the baby was born with purple skin and a little patch of white hair on July 12.  Supreme Kai was contacted immediately.  And again, something was confirmed: This baby was K-chan and Supreme Kai's very own bastard child.  Trunks was a wee bit upset.  Just a wee bit.  The baby was named Higashi, and he served as a little reminder of a little mistake made in October.

            K-chan should've learned her lesson.  She did, in a way: she never got drunk again.  But sometimes, a girl gets lonely.  Especially when your husband dies.  K-chan was going to get around to collecting the dragonballs and wishing Trunks back.  But it wasn't at the top of her very long to-do list.  So, K-chan was lonely.  Very lonely, indeed.  So, she called over a few of her good buddies: Duo, Quatre and Miroku.  Well, one thing led to another and the BAM!  Three guys (very hot guys, I might add) and a girl sharing a bed.  Let's skip through all the *cough* juicy stuff (this _is _rated PG-13) and get to the aftermath.  A bay boy was born, with lovely platinum blond hair and green eyes.  Ah, yes, Quatre was a father.  Jake was the baby's name, and another reminder of K-chan's irrational thinking rooted itself firmly in her life.  Trunks would be _thrilled _if K-chan ever did get around to wishing him back.  She had one dragonball….

            And now, there were two reminders of K-chan's less-than-loyal devotion to her departed hubbie.  Ah, yes, K-chan was quite lonely again.  Damn the loneliness, damn it straight to hell!  This cursed loneliness led to Hiei, Rune and Miroku being invited over to K-chan's house.  You already know what happens next, so we'll press that pretty fast forward button.  Nine months later, twins were born.  Lovely, those two, a boy and a girl.  The girl had black hair and green eyes while the boy had suspiciously-spiky raven hair and blue eyes.  Welcome to parenthood, Hiei!  Now, K-chan must deal with eight kids (a girl named Sashimi being born to K-chan and Trunks just before the saiyan's death) and K-chan is _not thrilled with the idea.  She _would _swear off sex…but that could only last so long.  Lonliness is a very bad thing for a hormone-challenged girl.  So, after much bitching and object-throwing, Hiei came to live with K-chan and the eight kids.  And, loathe he was to admit it, Hiei enjoyed living there and even love, yes, _loved _K-chan and the kids.  But he'd be damned if he ever said so._

            That's all.  Until I have another kid.  Oh yeah, I _did have names for Hiei's kids, but I forgot them _ I'm a bad mother!  Review if you want.  Ja ne!  ~Blades out_


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